Keeping Holiday Stress Low

By: Erin Wellman

Family, friends, food...don't those all sound like good things?  How about in the context of the holidays?  For some, that may sound like comfort, to others, it might sound like a massive headache.

Every family dynamic is different.  Often times, family being together for the holidays can bring up some really good memories and traditions.  Other times, hard memories are brought up, causing dread to ensue.

If you are like me, going home has a lot of benefits.  My mom loves being with my kids and it gives me a break from every minute demands of motherhood.  My mom also has the gift of hospitality, so the snacks and meals are always out and prepared without much help from me. Depending on the occasion, we stay anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of days and it's pretty easy-going being there.

But then there is the opposite dynamic, which is not out of the ordinary when visiting my in-laws. Many times, before even reaching our destination, anxiety creeps in, with the anticipation of high levels of stress. Since my in-laws live far away, even the traveling itself can be stressful.

Often times I have a short attention span with my husband and kids while I'm packing. Because, let's face it, not only am I trying to think through every possible thing I personally may need while we're away, I also have to think through the needs of 3 kids while on the road. 

I hate packing in general but to add to it, I also dread coming home to mountains of laundry and unpacking and an empty fridge. It's so easy to see the negative aspects of traveling that my attitude can ruin the trip before it's even begun.     

So what has helped me minimize the stress? (Especially during the holidays.) Personally, I've found 3 simple ways to keep pre-trip stress low so that we start the trip off well:

1. Pack bare necessities. One Thanksgiving my family traveled 12 hours away. We got to our destination very late at night and I realized I forgot my luggage.  I ran to Wal-Mart and got the bare essentials and lived off of that for a week.  It was glorious and taught me that I don't need all the "extra stuff."

2. Do laundry before you leave so as you pull things from the dryer and put them into the suitcase.  Put everything else away so you don't have to come back to that task.

3. Pack food, games, books, or whatever else you may enjoy throughout the time you are around family and friends. You need your tank filled before you can pour out to others.  

And here are 3 ways I can enjoy myself while away on a trip, even a stressful one:

1. Have an outlet or something that you can go to for some "me time."  It could be anything from going for a walk by yourself to finding a local YMCA ( https://www.daytonymca.org/locations?type=ymca&amenities ) and getting in a workout while you're away.  It's easy to get out of the workout routines so find a Y that is close to you and keep on track! (If you have a spouse, let them know ahead of time that you will be doing this so you don't just disappear and everyone wonders what happened to you.) 

2. Invite friends into your situation before you leave so that if you need to reach out to vent, cry, celebrate, ask for prayer, whatever the case may be, they can be there for you. (A tribe of people in your corner is always important!)

3. Try to be able to separate the "good" from the "bad."  I know a lot of times I can look at a situation or even a person and automatically think that "this is not going to be a good day."  Maybe I don't get along with someone who is there or I don't like what the agenda is for the day.  Try to be able to see the good things about that person or day so that you can not get stuck in a funk.

Stressors will always be there. It's not possible to eliminate them completely. But when we arm ourselves with ways to diffuse the situation, our trip, our family and our experience will always turn out better!