How to be a good Sports Parent

By: Erin Wellman

“I want to be a good sports parent…” 

“I don’t want to play basketball this year.”  That’s what my 8 year old told me as I was opening up the computer to sign him up for the YMCA basketball program.  I wondered what was preventing him from wanting to play.  After further conversation and clarification, he finally was able to express that he wanted to play soccer instead, he didn’t know anybody who was playing, and he didn’t know if he was good enough to play.  As a parent, it can be hard to navigate these types of conversations with our kids.

As we talked about his hesitations, he began to understand that basketball would not prevent him from playing soccer.  We talked through the fact that not knowing his teammates could actually be a good thing. It would be a great opportunity to meet new friends and play with people that he may not interact with on a daily basis.  We also discussed that even though this was his first time playing on a basketball team, it would be a good experience to develop his skills as a player but also continue to learn how to be a good teammate.

I think we would all agree that we want to see our kids try new things, make new friends, be successful in what they commit to, and develop skills for further play.  However nowadays I think the pressures of the world says that our kids need to concentrate and be a professional at 1 sport, even at the youth level.  This can cause kids to feel the pressure to perform or feel burn out at a young age.  Because of the pressures we feel as the parents of these kids, it can be easy for us to put expectations on our kids with how good they should be and what success looks like in our eyes.

Here are 3 things to think about that can help us be a good sports parent and encourage our kids in athletics:

• Take the pressure off - We have to remember that our kids are just that, kids.  Their brains and bodies are developing.  They will have successes and failures as they learn a new sport or develop in one they’ve played for years.  The way we respond to their successes and failures could form how they view themselves, what they put their identity into, and could cause them to think their worth is based on how well they perform. It is so important for our kids to know that they are more than their sport.  Their identity should not be based on how well they do or how well we think they should do. 
   
• Help their total growth - Our kids need to see that we care about their total growth - physical, mental and spiritual. Just like the YMCA mission statement says, “YMCAs are founded to serve the whole individual spirit, mind and body…”  It can be easy to want to see our kids grow physically, “bigger, faster, stronger,” but there are 2 other components that create their being.  Developing their mind and spirit can be just as important as they learn how to be the best athlete, teammate and individual they were created to be.  
   
• Encourage kids to try new sports/activities - I believe that we should encourage our kids to try new things, even if it is out of their comfort zone.  I don’t see any harm in having them enjoy one sport more than another but I think it is important to give them exposure to things that could develop them overall as an athlete and person.  And remember, try not to put our expectations on what “success” looks like as they try new things. To find out more about what sports the YMCA has to offer, click the link!

I believe the YMCA sports programs are striving for kids to reach full potential as athletes and are promoting their core values with the kids. As parents, let's try to model those same core values and encourage each other to live those out.